Airsprung Nice Deep Quilted Double Mattress - 3 Stars

By Tony T from Derbyshire (source)

"I bought this mattress mainly as it was at sale price; however I was previously familiar with the brand name. When it arrived I noticed that it felt very much softer than the last "firm" mattress I had but boy was I pleasantly surprised! When actually lying on it, the mattress is considerably stable; there is definitely no "rolling together" or off the side. When you lie down to sleep, you'll be waking up instantly - the next morning! You won't know the night has passed. Nonetheless it should be stressed that it is a soft mattress and if you've ever stood up on the bed, you'll know the difference - your feet tend to sink into the mattress on this one. Still for the price, I recomend this to be an excellent buy."

Review of Review: Poor Tony T. It must have been dreadful for him before he got his great new Airsprung Nice Deep Quilted Double Mattress. Every night, “rolling together” (that's probably a euphemism for doing sex) or falling off the side. I bet he was either knackered or black and blue every morning.

If only, he would have thought, I could have a perfectly flat mattress, rather than this weird undulating U-shaped/ N-shaped mattress I currently have. If only I could have a magic mattress which would make the whole sordid sleeping business just go away in an instant, my world would be all in order and I wouldn't need to spend my days hiding behind a copy of the Daily Express and weeping.

If only, he would have thought, I could have a mattress which felt at the same time soft AND firm, just like Sadie Frost's flesh appears to the Guardian journalist Deborah Orr. That would be bloody ace.

If only, he would have thought, I could have a mattress which my feet wouldn't sink into when I was standing on it for reasons which, quite frankly, are none of anybody else's business.

Two out of three ain't bad, Tony T. I quite understand why you could only give this mattress three stars under the circumstances. Perhaps you could buy a stepladder with the money you've saved and then you wouldn't have to stand on the bed.