Scrapbook Factory Deluxe V4 - 4 Stars

By J.D. JESUS "jtd" (U.K) (Source)

Submitted by: Barrie Mills

good for the parent with children

"one of the best item that my kids like to work on the pcomputer. it help them to be more creative. i deal as well for some school teachers whos dealing or with children and getting stock of ideas."

Review of Review: The reviewer is involved with the Amazon Vine programme. This "enables a select group of Amazon customers to post opinions about new and pre-release items to help their fellow customers make educated purchase decisions. Customers are invited to become Vine Voices based on the trust they have earned in the Amazon community for writing accurate and insightful reviews."

Well, if we're talking about trust, who could be more worthy than the Son of God Himself? But wait a minute! Is this person actually Jesus? Let's examine the evidence.

1) This person is a parent. Not only that, he has children. Despite what that Dan Brown says, Jesus didn't have a family. And if we're going by sales, the Bible's shifted more units that The Da Vinci Code. VERDICT: NOT THE REAL JESUS

2) There's no evidence in the Bible of God using software. Genesis 1 says: "And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also."

It doesn't say: "And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. Then He had a bit of a look and thought, 'You know, the saturation on the greater light's a bit red, it needs to be more yellow. Ooh, and I'll Photoshop a few more of those stars in over there. Look, if you join the dots you can make a picture of a plough. Jings! I'd better create some humans to invent the plough'." VERDICT: NOT THE REAL JESUS.

3) Jesus spoke Aramaic, and probably a little Latin and Greek. He couldn't speak English. VERDICT: THE REAL JESUS.

Well, it's two to one against it being the real Jesus, and if we can't trust him on that score, how can we trust him on whether this bit of software is worth four stars? We can't, which is why this is an Unhelpful Review.

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown - 5 Stars

By A. M. Buckle (Source)

"I CANT WRITE MUCH ABOUT THIS BOOK AS I AM STILL READING IT BUT IT IS HARD TO PUT DOWN SO THAT PROVES THAT IT IS A GOOD BOOK SO FAR AND IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER."

Review of Review: Some books are just too good. Some books just make you want to run to the computer and dash off a review before you've even finished reading it. The Lost Symbol is, perhaps, just such a book.

Poor A.M. Buckle must have legged it to the keyboard, so excited was she, and attempted to type. But then she realised that she still had the book in her hand. "Damn it," she undoubtedly thought. "How on earth am I supposed to type when I've got a book in my hand?"

She tried to put it down, so that she could give us her views. Lord, she tried to put it down. But could she? No. Because it is so hard to put down. The best she could do was to wrest one hand away from the magnetic tome.

Then she started to type, but she had tremendous trouble using the Shift key as she was only using one hand. Luckily she remembered the Caps Lock button, which enabled her to type her review.

But it is, in the end and despite her heroic efforts, an Unhelpful Review because it is a review of only part of the "The Lost Symbol" experience. I mean, it's likely that the book continued to get better and better until the climax which would just about be the best thing that had ever been written.

But what if Dan Brown peaked three quarters of the way through? What if he resolved a cliffhanger with "Anyway, then Tom Hanks woke up and it had all been a dream?" And then the final quarter of the book was about him going to the shops and picking up the dry cleaning, and then going on Twitter and telling people about going to the shops and picking up the dry cleaning?

And then what if it went on with him seeing his wife at teatime and telling her about the funny dream he'd had about freemasons, and she said, "You've been eating cheese again at bedtime?" And then what if he said, "No, I'll tell you what it was, I was reading that book about freemasons. That'll be why?" And then what if he had his tea, and then he said, "Ooh, yes, I did have a bit of Red Leicester before I went up. You're right?"

In that case, I reckon A.M. Buckle's review could be considered misleading.

Delia's Happy Christmas - 1 Star

By Mr. A. T. Mckillop "Amazon ruls" of Ireland (Source)

Not What I Expected

"I feel that delia really let us down with this book...I bought the book expecting it to be brilliant, but i was wrong i would not cook anything from it. it was awful. I would cook nothing from it and found it to be a huge waste of money...if you dont believe my review as i would have because its a delia smith book and it should be good, make sure to go to a book shop and have a look through before you buy as you will be happy you did not waste your money.. "

Review of Review: I feel tremendously sorry for poor Mr. A. T. Mckillop of Ireland. Such disappointment. What must he have imagined a Delia Smith book about Christmas would contain?

- "Mary, that Delia Smith book, it's arrived!"

- "Faith and, indeed, begorrah! Is that it in your trembling hands?"

- "Yes, to be sure, to be sure."

- "Quick, A.T.! Tear off the packaging and let us gaze 'pon it."

(RUSTLE, RUSTLE.)

- "I can't bear to look. Tell me, Mary. Tell me what incredible recipes there are in the book. Is there one for sunshine-trapped-in-a-prism flavoured ice-cream? Roast unicorn? Perhaps a pineapple upside-down cake? But not the upside-down cake of our youth. No. A cake that, through application of anti-gravity, LITERALLY turns the consumer upside down."

- "No, it's just a load of recipes for turkey and Christmas pudding."

- "Ah, bollocks. I've never been so let down."

Mind you, I reckon he deserves it, for advocating the use of bookshops as a try-before-you-buy-on-Amazon tool.

Pro Power 20kg Cast Dumbbell Set - 4.5 Stars

We have a special today. Sometimes an item is so controversial that the niceties of reviewing etiquette are blown apart. The Pro Power 20kg Cast Dumbbell Set is just such an item . . .

By dexter from bristol (Source)

"quality product, you cant go wrong wiht these."

Review of Review: Oh, Dexter, you naive, incapable-of-writing-eight-words-without-making-three-errors lamb. If only you knew...

By brad from Cleveland

"I would suggest to buy some weight lifting gloves as my fingers got sore with the bar having a rough edge for grip. I purchased the york gloves and everything is fine now even better."

Review of Review: Poor Brad. There must be nothing worse than picking up a heavy weight, only to find it's a bit rough. Still, the York gloves are making things fine, if not even better. No, Brad, I don't think you're a big jessie.

By Malinky from Ayrshire

"I also took the advice of the other reviewer and bought the York leather weighlifting gloves. Essential as the bar is rough metal almost like sandpaper."

Review of Review: And this is why I don't think Brad is a big jessie. There's clearly something wrong with the grips on these weights, something that puts carrying them ungauntleted beyond the power of mortal man.

By KK from leicestershire

"Grip is good but not that rough that you have to have gloves."

Review of Review: Hear that, Brad and Malinky? You big jessies. Now let that be the end of the controversy.

By MARECKI from london

"GOOD PRODUCT, BUT IS ONLY 18.5KG NOT 20KG."

Review of Review: What? What??? But it says 20KG up there. Are you sure?

By ken from merseyside

"whilst these dumbbells are very well made they are in fact under-weight coming in at only 18.6kg including the bars"

Review of Review: Let's imagine the scene. Ken from Merseyside excitedly unpacks his weights. He assembles the dumbbells, checks the heft of them. "Ey, this isn't 20kg!"

"Ey, ey, calm down, calm down," says Ken's common-law wife.

"I will not calm down. Lilo Lil is A TART!" says Ken. "Fetch the scales, we've been had."

By spamula from Annesley Woodhouse

"Not sure what the confusion is from other buyers regarding the weight printed on the box but ours said 20kg's and it contained 20kg."

Review of Review: I don't know, Ken from Merseyside and MARECKI from London, perhaps you should be giving your scales a bad review rather than these blameless dumbbells. You probably did. I can't be bothered to look.

By Ali from Essex

"Hi, bought these dumbbells a few back days and have been using them ever since. Advice: If you are making an in-store reservation, make sure that you are either on a car or have some way or carrying them back as they are obviously heavy."

Review of Review: Good advice, Ali from Essex. If you haven't got transport, you might want to buy lighter weights.